I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to Liutauras for bringing me my life and desire to live back. A year ago, I stepped into his office like a hunched war-worn old lady, suffocating after climbing up the 2nd floor. Not only had I lost the physical strength, I had also given up the hope to live an active and happy life ever again. I was in my early forties, but had already been living like an 80-year-old. I was barely moving. Leaving the house was becoming more of a challenge every single day. I couldn’t even dream of having hobbies or any leisure time activities, for that matter. By that time, I had given up my career and was vegetating around the house for 3-4 hours per day. The rest of the time I was desperately trying to get some rest and gain the energy back. My unsuccessful attempts to restore health had been going on for a couple of years, but the doctors, having tested every possible diagnosis, only concluded that nothing was wrong. In the end, they suggested to take antidepressants. I’m quoting, “Maybe they would help… Sometimes they do”. Instead of taking pills, I was still hoping to find a person who would really understand what was going on with me and who could really help. And I found Liutauras. Thanks to him and his energy practices, I “lost” 40 years, returned to my professional duties, and now I can live a happy active life again. Except now the quality of my life is even better than it was before the crisis: it’s brighter, full of emotions, I am even more self-confident, my relationships with the loved ones became even better, and most importantly, I’ve got this increasing feeling of inner freedom. This is something I could never dream of, I didn’t think that was possible. From my own experience I can prove that, thanks to Liutauras, it is possible to finally find an effective way to help people: a complex method that really works and is aimed to the specific needs of an individual. Thank you, Doctor! Thank you, Master! L
Just a little while ago, having read this poem, I would simply enjoy the colourful metaphors and mysterious imagination of the poet. Or even worse, I would figure that that was just another didactic banality that didn’t mean a thing. Just a little while ago, I wouldn’t for a second think that everything Rumi had written would turn out to be not just literary sweet things and beautiful hyperbolas, but pure reality. Thanks to Liutauras, I was given a chance to experience that reality to the fullest at the retreat in Las Terrenas. Exactly as it was written eight centuries ago, from arrogance and the joy of silly thoughts, to the head raised high to the sun, and walks among the flowers. Never could I think that it was possible to survive the encounter with the sun, to feel that sacredness of flower buds, or to even live through your own human nature, so different from that one with names and images. To eventually feel that all your life you have been “walking in your own shadow”, as the poet once proclaimed. Now, to me this poem sounds like the absolute recipe for reviving your mental health. Something similar to: “Pour two glasses of milk, add a hundred grams of sugar, etc.”. After you have transmitted all the ingredients through your own body, there’s no mystery left, the banality is gone. That’s all because everything that is written there is endlessly true and it really works. I won’t say that it is easy to stop “enjoying your silly thoughts”, or that “praying for your imaginary demons” is a joke. It is not at all easy. But raise your hands to the sun, and you will feel the silliness melting like the snows of yesteryear. And all the demons that have been occupying your mind disappear. It is not difficult, if every time when you stumble, you “get up and look for the light”. During our practices, we learned to “turn the gaze to the sun”, and we’ve healed / cleared ourselves / prepared for a new life / opened up / returned to ourselves. After the retreat, at which our souls were being treated with the eight-year-old recipe, I came home with an unlimited number of discoveries about my own self. Some of them might sound like anti-social egoism for the unprepared, but I am happy because: I no longer feel guilty for anything anymore, as after washing up with consciousness, I’ve started to put more attention to other people’s expectations and requirements I was trying to fulfill before. None of the mind-dictated “values”, such as recognition, respect, excellence, pull my strings any longer. Once I’ve revived my soul, I’ve clearly heard its desires, that turned out to be different. It is so good to live by the desires of your soul. And to me this is now a real experience and not a metaphor. It’s still a short and not evident, but definite and nonfictional experience. What the retreat has given me is a very strong hope that one can live, feeling and seeing every life colour with their eyes shut; and that this experience will become my lighthouse in achieving this quality of life. I realised (felt, experienced) that no action and no name would ever give what I had expected from them. There is absolutely no difference, whether I am a psychologist or tailor. I don’t care how I call myself and which projects I want to turn into reality; it’s not about the occupation or activity that brings me joy, it’s the feeling: love, usefulness, calmness. These feelings flow into a product or activity, and this is something to live for. And everything that is fictional is a flaw. And not just a flaw, but the flaw that suck out your life energy. I found out that I am a love addict, a fanatic who had been starving for years, a dried out African bedouin. I crave love like air, and I crave way more of it than people are able to give. I need buckets, bank-full cisterns of love. I’ve promised to send this craving into a different source and stop forcing people. What and how much of it they can give — it’s not going to be enough for me. At the retreat my craving have been directed to the ever-living resources. Thanks to Liutauras for all the gifts, and thanks to God for Liutauras.
After the retreat in the Dominican Republic
At the beginning of XIII century, Rumi, a poet and mystic of Persian descent, wrote:
You can be arrogant and self-confident, although,
you will not impress the sun by flirting.
When walking in your own shadow, stop,
Enjoying the silly thoughts.
Raise your head and look at the sun,
take a walk among the flowers, among the people.
Do not live in the darkness like a nocturnal bird,
pray for your imaginary demons.
Get up and look for the light, turn your gaze to the sun.
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
When I heard Liutauras say, “You have to do whatever you want in life,” for the first time, I thought it was yet another naive metaphor that everyone shares on Facebook. Three years ago, nobody would be able to assure me that one could live the way they want, do what they want and enjoy it without any guilt. I used to strongly believe that life is supposed to be hard. Work – exhausting, relationships – complicated, because there’s no other way, and well-being – more or less bearable, if you had a good day. I also thought that the constant race – I must/I’m obliged/I need – was the wise choice of a grow-up. Doing what you want the way you want and enjoying it, in my opinion (of a wise and a grow-up person!), was only possible when you’re a child. And only if you were lucky enough to have good parents. Patiently guided by Liutauras and applying his theory on practice, I was slowly becoming free. Before that, I would say, “I started to regress to childhood”. Now I tell people, “You have to do whatever you want in life”. Because now I know that it is possible. Because that’s the way I live now. Three years ago, I couldn’t even imagine how one could be excited about the full work day when they haven’t got up yet, now – that’s the way I live. I love Mondays, because I go to work; I love extra work, because it is interesting; I enjoy my afterwork time, because it is pleasurable. I’m exultant over a cozy Saturday at home. I get off on guests coming over. I’m singing to myself when I’m alone. Everything that used to weigh me down, that I used to do gritting my teeth like carrying the Calvary cross, has disappeared from my life. Even people, communication with whom was tiring but for some reason obligatory, are gone from my life. And the sky with all its anger hasn’t fallen down on me. Conversely, now I live way better. I am healthier, I have more friends, I earn more money, and I even have more free time. To me, that’s a true miracle that happened to me. A miracle that happened thanks to Liutauras and his practice.